Top 10 Wedding List

Every wedding has epic moments, moments that make you smile and moments you will never forget. Here are my top ten moments from Jessie’s wedding.

10. Bria putting on her flower girl dress and doing a princess dance while her eyes lit up. 13901302_10100799356241646_4474221070404215376_n

9. Charlotte getting her hair done like Elsa and getting ready at 9 a.m. for the 4 p.m. wedding.

8. Butch being an awesome tour guide and driver of the RV to and from the wedding.13895065_10100799343861456_4555704956091413874_n

7. Ryan’s tie not fitting quite right.

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6. Bria asking Grandma Pauline if today was the day Darlene would become her grandma.

5. Quitin yelling he doesn’t know how to read during gift opening.

3. RV ride. No comment.

2. My nephew’s speech.

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1. My sister’s thank you speech to the attendees and then announcing they were off to make babies.

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Speech! Speech!

13934712_10100799703231276_1114686817573606450_nI am never short of words. I always have a comment, an antidote to add or  questions to ask. I always have words. That was until it came to my Maid of Honor speech this last weekend in which my little sister got married.
I had rehearsed rap songs, even re-wrote the lyrics to Hakunamatata to “I Love you A Lot-a”. It was going to be epic.

But I backed out. It took me a few days to be okay with the fact that I had given a bad speech. Not a bad speech, but epic-less speech. The way I see it, my sister is a simple woman. She loves agriculture, her husband and Bria. She is a family woman and doesn’t need nice things. Besides Victoria Secrets and $100 jeans. 

When I looked back at her life and mine, and put into perspective how much of an impact she has had on my life, there were no words. There is nothing I can say that describes how much I love this woman. She has taught me how to be a sister, that it’s okay to get dirty and how to let someone love her. There is so much that I could say, that words don’t do it justice.

It’s like looking at the Mona Lisa. Everyone knows what it looks like, it’s always there, but to truly define the beauty, is difficult.
I wish my sister and her new husband a lifetime of happiness!

– KJM

Saving Grace

IMG_9935Today I walked into a salon. Not my normal salon, a lower end salon. In my mind I cursed the fact that I was there, cursed the fact I have to budget, cursed that I’m at this point. As I was greeted and gave out my information, I watched the woman slowly walk over to her area and clean her chair. She slowly swept. Meticulously cleaned her combs, and then did it again. I could tell she was trying to put off doing my hair. It’s obvious when you are the only client there and they are the only stylist open, and they take 10 minutes to clean, nothing.

I cursed the fact I wasn’t even wanted by the hairstylist. As she began my color, I learned she is a month out of school, and has only been working at this job for a month.

“Of course. My luck, get stuck with the lady who doesn’t know what’s going on,” I said in my mind.

Just negative thoughts spilled out of my mind. I was in such a sour place. Than a woman walked in. Confident, strong, she knew exactly what she wanted. I could only hear her voice, but I knew she was a woman in charge. As she came around the corner into eye shot, my eyes grew big.
The woman, had barely any hair. It was a few months worth of growing back in. It was thin, barely covered her scalp. She was frustrated it wasn’t the same length, but shared with her stylist that she is working with someone to get the hair to grow in quicker and thicker. She was on a good path and just needed everything to be evened out.

As the door opened, her stylist had to leave, several times in fact. As I cursed that stylists in my head for not being able to complete a haircut, I looked at the woman.

She was dancing in her chair, head bobbing to the music, a giant smile on her face. She was in a good place, happy and full of life. Her hair was not a hinderance, but something that just needed to be fixed.

A few minutes later I learned she had just finished chemo.

My heart sank to my feet and I felt a million pounds heavier sitting in my chair.

I was cursing the world because I had a few grey hairs I needed dyed. I was cursing the world, for no damn reason.

When striving for wanting the greatest things in the world, I constantly find myself struggling to remember to stay humble, to be thankful for what I have. I need to learn to live in the moment, dance in my chair, embrace my progress.

To the woman who probably didn’t see me watching, you are my idol, my rock, my saving grace. Thank you for showing me how to love life again.

— KJM

Life happens


It’s like my cupboard had a party and didn’t invite me. 

Life keeps happening whether you are an active participant or not. 

This about sums up my life. Out of space, unorganized, yet I know I can stay calm, because I have so many parties coming up!!

What photo sums up your life right now?
-kjm

Layers

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This onion did more for me today than feed my hunger, it fed my soul.

At first glance, the onion is dirty. It is losing layers and doesn’t look very appealing. Upon pulling back the layers, pure onion begins to show on one side. On the other side, dirt clung to the inner layers of the onion.

Peeling one more layer, there was still dirt. I ended up having to cut a portion of the onion off.

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This made me think of all the pain and hurt that is being said and shared in the world right now.

We all can shed some of the hate sent our way, but after a while, the words begin to sink deeper and deeper inside us, forever burrowing in the lines of time. Thus making it harder to rid of the negative talk. After a while, one can no longer brush it off. It has affects on people that no one ever truly knows. It begins to take a toll, someone begins to seek an outlet.

Take a moment, and think of what you have told people today, was any of it negative? Is someone shedding layers of hatred you spewed? Layers can only peel for so long.
Think before you speak.

                  “Be kind to one another,” Ellen.

Kid Inventions

When we were little, our minds raced. Our thoughts grew into dreams and we lived out our kid fantasies. As we began to grow older, those ideas seemed to fade, dreams crushed and living out our future was halted due to facing reality.

Taking a look back, I was brilliant as a kid. Working on getting some of that back.

 

Why I argue

This Vlog is about why I argue so much.

I know, I know, most of you are thinking, “what? You never argue back.”

But sometimes I do, and here are my top five reasons why!

 

The Last Text

I set up my rides for Sunday and Monday, I can stay overnight at your house right

“- Ok, yes.”

Ok I will see u on Sunday I love u

My cousin Lauren said she loved me in her very last text. However, I was too busy with my life to even respond that evening. We had already text a few times, so it was just shop talk to wrap it up. I knew I would reach her in the morning and touch base before she came over that evening again.
I had time.

I had time to tell her I loved her.

I had time to tell her how much she meant to me.

I had time to make more memories.

Anger ensues me as I think about those last text. My hurt breaks at the thought that I knew I had more time, but I didn’t. I didn’t have more time. I had that moment and only that moment to make a difference, to make an impact, to let someone know I cared and I failed. I failed at the one thing I pride myself in. You know exactly where you stand with me. I let you know how I feel. I wear it on my sleeve. So why didn’t I say anything back? Why didn’t I say I love you?

I always think I will have more time.

Time is not a guarantee.

My plea to you is to look at your loved ones, hug them and let them know you love them. Let them know they make a difference in your life.

I know Miss Lu knew I cared and loved her, that is why we had such a special bond. But there is something so heartbreaking about reading that last text and all I could say when she was alive was ‘OK, yes.’ I could have text three more words. Or even three letters, ILU.

I will forever cling to the belief in the saying by Ghandi, “it’s not what you say, it’s about how you made them feel.”

In our hearts and on our minds, we miss you Lu.

– KJM