The Last Text

I set up my rides for Sunday and Monday, I can stay overnight at your house right

“- Ok, yes.”

Ok I will see u on Sunday I love u

My cousin Lauren said she loved me in her very last text. However, I was too busy with my life to even respond that evening. We had already text a few times, so it was just shop talk to wrap it up. I knew I would reach her in the morning and touch base before she came over that evening again.
I had time.

I had time to tell her I loved her.

I had time to tell her how much she meant to me.

I had time to make more memories.

Anger ensues me as I think about those last text. My hurt breaks at the thought that I knew I had more time, but I didn’t. I didn’t have more time. I had that moment and only that moment to make a difference, to make an impact, to let someone know I cared and I failed. I failed at the one thing I pride myself in. You know exactly where you stand with me. I let you know how I feel. I wear it on my sleeve. So why didn’t I say anything back? Why didn’t I say I love you?

I always think I will have more time.

Time is not a guarantee.

My plea to you is to look at your loved ones, hug them and let them know you love them. Let them know they make a difference in your life.

I know Miss Lu knew I cared and loved her, that is why we had such a special bond. But there is something so heartbreaking about reading that last text and all I could say when she was alive was ‘OK, yes.’ I could have text three more words. Or even three letters, ILU.

I will forever cling to the belief in the saying by Ghandi, “it’s not what you say, it’s about how you made them feel.”

In our hearts and on our minds, we miss you Lu.

– KJM

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