Life happens


It’s like my cupboard had a party and didn’t invite me. 

Life keeps happening whether you are an active participant or not. 

This about sums up my life. Out of space, unorganized, yet I know I can stay calm, because I have so many parties coming up!!

What photo sums up your life right now?
-kjm

Layers

FullSizeRender-1

 

This onion did more for me today than feed my hunger, it fed my soul.

At first glance, the onion is dirty. It is losing layers and doesn’t look very appealing. Upon pulling back the layers, pure onion begins to show on one side. On the other side, dirt clung to the inner layers of the onion.

Peeling one more layer, there was still dirt. I ended up having to cut a portion of the onion off.

IMG_9425-1

This made me think of all the pain and hurt that is being said and shared in the world right now.

We all can shed some of the hate sent our way, but after a while, the words begin to sink deeper and deeper inside us, forever burrowing in the lines of time. Thus making it harder to rid of the negative talk. After a while, one can no longer brush it off. It has affects on people that no one ever truly knows. It begins to take a toll, someone begins to seek an outlet.

Take a moment, and think of what you have told people today, was any of it negative? Is someone shedding layers of hatred you spewed? Layers can only peel for so long.
Think before you speak.

                  “Be kind to one another,” Ellen.

Kid Inventions

When we were little, our minds raced. Our thoughts grew into dreams and we lived out our kid fantasies. As we began to grow older, those ideas seemed to fade, dreams crushed and living out our future was halted due to facing reality.

Taking a look back, I was brilliant as a kid. Working on getting some of that back.

 

Why I argue

This Vlog is about why I argue so much.

I know, I know, most of you are thinking, “what? You never argue back.”

But sometimes I do, and here are my top five reasons why!

 

The Last Text

I set up my rides for Sunday and Monday, I can stay overnight at your house right

“- Ok, yes.”

Ok I will see u on Sunday I love u

My cousin Lauren said she loved me in her very last text. However, I was too busy with my life to even respond that evening. We had already text a few times, so it was just shop talk to wrap it up. I knew I would reach her in the morning and touch base before she came over that evening again.
I had time.

I had time to tell her I loved her.

I had time to tell her how much she meant to me.

I had time to make more memories.

Anger ensues me as I think about those last text. My hurt breaks at the thought that I knew I had more time, but I didn’t. I didn’t have more time. I had that moment and only that moment to make a difference, to make an impact, to let someone know I cared and I failed. I failed at the one thing I pride myself in. You know exactly where you stand with me. I let you know how I feel. I wear it on my sleeve. So why didn’t I say anything back? Why didn’t I say I love you?

I always think I will have more time.

Time is not a guarantee.

My plea to you is to look at your loved ones, hug them and let them know you love them. Let them know they make a difference in your life.

I know Miss Lu knew I cared and loved her, that is why we had such a special bond. But there is something so heartbreaking about reading that last text and all I could say when she was alive was ‘OK, yes.’ I could have text three more words. Or even three letters, ILU.

I will forever cling to the belief in the saying by Ghandi, “it’s not what you say, it’s about how you made them feel.”

In our hearts and on our minds, we miss you Lu.

– KJM

This Can’t be Real

12745887_10100668158522926_3331170822265395216_n

Today I opened up tissues, to wipe away the tears.

I should have been opening hair dye, for you to go platinum blonde.

When I cracked open a mountain dew, to keep me awake from 2 hours of sleep.

We should have been making DewMosas.

As I tried to eat garlic bread at lunch, sick to my stomach.

It should have been Pizza Hut cheesy bread, because it finally opened near here.

So many moments today that shouldn’t have been. Moments that don’t seem real. Ladies night wasn’t supposed to turn into this. This isn’t how life was supposed to go. You aren’t supposed to be gone.

You should be here laughing at my horrible stories, or explaining to me why you bought the brightest blonde you could find. You should be on your third DewMosa of the evening, getting hiccups from drinking to fast. Smiling and laughing while telling me about Lunds and what Eric and Nick have been up too.

Heaven wasn’t supposed to be where you celebrated ladies night. Heaven shouldn’t have as many angels as they do. Heaven shouldn’t have you.

We should have you. You should still be here. You should still be giving hugs. You should be making the kids laugh. You should be holding Sammy.

Heaven should be closed to residents.

No matter how angry it makes me that I will never hold you again, hug you or tell you I love you, you are in amazing hands. You lived a happy full life. You even became Mayor of Hopkins you knew so many people. We are all better for knowing you, stronger for having loved you and more full of love from living with you. Please give Grandma I a big hug, and watch after her. She gets lost sometimes at the casino’s. I’m sure there are casino’s all over Heaven, so good luck!

Please continue to look down over our family and keep the love, faith and dreams going strong. Forever in our hearts, always on our minds. I love you Lu!

Heaven is so far away….

13592401_10100765371297746_6702470069206351499_n

 

“Cousin Kristin! I need a huuuug!” spilled from Lauren’s mouth every time she entered the room. We were extra lucky when she would give us more than one hug. So full of love. Such tight squeezes.

This weekend, I had plans to hang out with Lauren on Sunday night. She worked until 7 p.m. and would come over for supper after. We were going to have Pizza Hut. They finally opened after a year and a half of waiting. Took forever! We also had a fresh new hair dye we were going to put on Lauren. OJ and Mt. Dew were cold in the fridge, for DewMosas. We were set.

Sunday night, 7:22 p.m. “something isn’t right,” I came through my body. Lauren always was on time and was always calling and texting. Her phone was silent. Her response was silent. My heart was still.

I called her mother to let her know something was off and to see if she knew where she was. I had had a sinking feeling in my stomach all day. Her mom’s voice let me know this wasn’t normal and that we needed to act quickly. Ten minutes later our Lauren was found deceased in her apartment. She had a seizure and did not recover.

I expected to get a call that she had run away with a boy or was at the hospital because she got hurt at work. Not this. The opposite of this. The untruth of this.

She wanted to be normal. What she didn’t understand was she was more normal than any of us. Yes, she had to take some pills, but who doesn’t? Am I right? We all are medicated.

People have thanked me for being in her life. It is the opposite. I am SO THANKFUL I got to be part of her life. Having her in my life as an amazing human, cousin and friend, makes me the lucky one.

She taught us so much: 

She taught me to love people regardless of who they are.

To always see the glass as half full.

That you can mix OJ and Mt. Dew and enjoy it.

Fight for what you believe in.

Love with your whole heart, every time.

Sneaking into movies isn’t just a teenage thing.

The list could go on and on. Lauren wanted to be normal more than anything, wanted to be like us. I wish she knew how much we wished we could be as happy as her. How we wished we could love everyone as strong as she did.

We are all, I think still in shock, grieving, hurt, pissed, saddened and so many more things. She will forever have a piece of my heart.

Here’s to you Lauren – thank you for teaching us how to live life!

Sales 101

There is sales, and then there is being in a retail environment with sales.

Here is a list of top ten things I have learned over the past three months in my new position, while also comparing it to former positions. Some are always true, and some are the new truths.

10. You still have to make tough decisions, have customer service and get a result, but this time, you have to do it in 3 minutes, not an hour.

9. People don’t know what they don’t know. You have to share with them.

8. You need to pamper your employees just as much as your guests. Happy employees, happy customers.

7. It is possible to answer three phones while checking out a client.

6. The customer may have spent 5 minutes with you, but they will remember your name and how you made them feel.

5. Adults still seek permission to use the restrooms.

4. Sometimes I make up reasons on why it is taking so long to check you out. “This darn computer, running so slow.” When really, I can’t find the coupon you need.

3. Never leave the front desk for five minutes, that is when everything will happen.

2. I may call people by the wrong name, but it is usually someone I just checked out, so really, they should be flattered the name stuck around.

  1. When I ask you to spell your last name, that is a red flag that our communication system failed and I have no clue who you are.

Hope you were able to relate to some of these. Life happens to everyone, it happens quick and sometimes it evolves into amazing memories. Cherish every moment, every transaction and every changed life.

Have an amazing week!

– KJM