Things I Hope You Never Have to Learn

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Top things I learned from living in a hospital for a week:

  • There are SOME good shows on during the day
  • Germs are everywhere, the floor is the worst
  • You really can sleep anywhere and in any position
  • Debbie is not Perfect Patty, but she is Debbie Right
  • Hospital food is not that bad
  • There are nurses that studied and nurses that are from their heart and soul
  • My little sister is an amazing woman
  • You turn into little children and your mom is NOT impressed
  • You find things funny, that are not even remotely funny
  • You don’t fire on all cylinders making conversations difficult
  • Everyone has an opinion
  • You can get whatever you want to eat as a patient as long as it is healthy
  • They allow rehab dogs at the hospital. Sammy would not be a good fit.
  • Seeing a familiar face means the world
  • Leaving the hospital is like after riding a boat, you still wait for a nurse to walk in
  • The music stations on the TV are VERY loud
  • Bring running shoes if you are at the St. Cloud hospital, food is like a mile away
  • They won’t deliver food to your room unless you are a patient
  • Don’t laugh loud, though it cures your ailments, it disrupts the patients and they close the doors on you
  • A tired sister means a karate chopped throat
  • I snore
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