What single women think while driving through rush hour on their way home:
Huh, my perfume is still working. Sweet. Did I put too much on this morning?
I should call my best friend, I really miss her. I don’t feel like talking to people any more today. Maybe I’ll just text her. Ohh, I could send her a card I bought for her three months ago. She’d probably like that. Now, what would I say in it? “Sup?” … Might as well text her.
I wonder what that smell is in my car. Is it freshener or McDonald’s? Did I drop some food? I wonder what it was. Ninety nine percent sure it’s some sausage McMuffin. Ohh, I could really go for a sausage McMuffin. They should sell these at night. I think they do. It’s kind of out of my way.
What should I have for supper? Spaghetti? Fettuccine? Stroganoff? Steak and potatoes? Mac and Cheese does only take six minutes. Do I want to eat in an hour or six minutes. Six minutes you win Kraft. You win.
If I had a boyfriend or husband at home, I would totally walk in the door and seduce him. Then give him a beer and have him tell me about his day.
I’m so tired. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anyone when I get home.
Maybe I shouldn’t have a significant other.
Oh hey sexy man in the car next to me. If we make eye contact, it’s fate and it’s meant to be. Oh crap! He saw me looking at him, floor it.
I should schedule Sammy for a haircut, or I should cut his hair. I do a good job. Except that one time the vet remarked that he must get his hair cut by ‘his mommy.’
If Sammy was a man, would we be compatible? I feel like we would. He would leave me alone, I would feed him. It could work. Unless he learned to talk. Why can’t dogs talk? Wouldn’t that be freaky? “What’s up Sammy?” — “Hey! Just watching cops!”
I wonder what that building is? Do people even work there? I wonder if they work an 8-5 or a bunch of weird shifts? What if I had to work a weird shift, like 12-8 p.m. I would never do anything with my life. I go to bed a 8:30 p.m.
OMG, why is that guy starring at me. What a creep. What am I going to do, pull over and give you my number? Floor it.
I feel like tonight is a good night to update my dating profile. I’m going to try something different. Live on the edge. I might even add words with my photos so they get to know me. I don’t know, that’s really putting yourself out there.
Huh. Home already. That was fast.