What Single Women Think About During Rush Hour

What single women think while driving through rush hour on their way home:

Huh, my perfume is still working. Sweet. Did I put too much on this morning?

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I should call my best friend, I really miss her. I don’t feel like talking to people any more today. Maybe I’ll just text her. Ohh, I could send her a card I bought for her three months ago. She’d probably like that. Now, what would I say in it? “Sup?” … Might as well text her.

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I wonder what that smell is in my car. Is it freshener or McDonald’s? Did I drop some food? I wonder what it was. Ninety nine percent sure it’s some sausage McMuffin. Ohh, I could really go for a sausage McMuffin. They should sell these at night. I think they do. It’s kind of out of my way.

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What should I have for supper? Spaghetti? Fettuccine? Stroganoff? Steak and potatoes? Mac and Cheese does only take six minutes. Do I want to eat in an hour or six minutes. Six minutes you win Kraft. You win.

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If I had a boyfriend or husband at home, I would totally walk in the door and seduce him. Then give him a beer and have him tell me about his day.

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I’m so tired. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with anyone when I get home.

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Maybe I shouldn’t have a significant other.

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Oh hey sexy man in the car next to me. If we make eye contact, it’s fate and it’s meant to be. Oh crap! He saw me looking at him, floor it.

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I should schedule Sammy for a haircut, or I should cut his hair. I do a good job. Except that one time the vet remarked that he must get his hair cut by ‘his mommy.’

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If Sammy was a man, would we be compatible? I feel like we would. He would leave me alone, I would feed him. It could work. Unless he learned to talk. Why can’t dogs talk? Wouldn’t that be freaky? “What’s up Sammy?” — “Hey! Just watching cops!”

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I wonder what that building is? Do people even work there? I wonder if they work an 8-5 or a bunch of weird shifts? What if I had to work a weird shift, like 12-8 p.m. I would never do anything with my life. I go to bed a 8:30 p.m.

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OMG, why is that guy starring at me. What a creep. What am I going to do, pull over and give you my number? Floor it.

Dog driving a car at night with a man hanging his head out the back window.

I feel like tonight is a good night to update my dating profile. I’m going to try something different. Live on the edge. I might even add words with my photos so they get to know me. I don’t know, that’s really putting yourself out there.

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Huh. Home already. That was fast.

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New Soul

Portrait of a baby with a curious expression!

You may have heard the term reincarnation or ‘old soul’. The term is used to describe someone who knows what to do in life, they have been around the block. It is like they have lived a lifetime or more already and know how to figure out their own path.

I used to joke that I am an old soul who would fall for someone telling me to come into an alley, and then I would get robbed.

Then I realized, I am a new soul. I have no idea what is going on. I don’t know what I am supposed to do, how I should respond to things or what feelings I should have.
Everything I learn, it’s like I’m learning it for the first time. I remember when I was growing up and I found my little sister would get up in the middle night and make some food. I WAS SHOCKED!! You can’t get up in the middle of the night, mom said, ‘see you in the morning.’ Not ‘see you at midnight for a snack.’ What was she doing!

She never got in trouble. I was baffled. Interesting fact, to this day, she is a night owl.

Anyways, back to me.

The point of bringing this up, is I owe some people an apology. I am not the first to admit when I am wrong, nor agree with someone when they point out that I am wrong, but there are a few instances where I feel it’s warranted. I’m sorry, I’m learning.

Being a sister. I don’t know how to be a sister. I used to have slumber parties with my older sister, switch rooms, steal her clothes and do things normal sisters did, but then after her accident, that all went away. She slept all the time. Then, there was this new baby in the house, and since I wasn’t the baby anymore I just straight up decided I didn’t like her. Now I’m learning to love her and realize she is my best friend in the entire world. We have late night chats, know each others thoughts and can fight and make up within seconds. It’s something I have learned, because she has shown me the way.

Being a good daughter. I have had a lot of anger toward my real father for not being there when I was little. I carried that into my adult life and projected my anger in times when he tried to show he was making effort. Since I’m so stubborn, I wouldn’t admit that it was okay to give someone a second chance. Though I am not 100 percent there, I see what you are doing, I see that you are trying and I’m trying my hardest to open my heart. Life is about second chances and recognizing when someone is trying and putting effort forth.

Being a friend. I go through phases of suffocating you with love and then not talking to you for weeks. I don’t know how to call weekly and catch up. I don’t know how to keep relationships going that are long distance. I get jealous when you talk to someone else, because I love you so much as a friend. Do I just tag you in Facebook posts? Send you cards? Call you on your birthday? I have no idea! This is still a massive work in progress. 🙂

Being a leader. I love groups, I love organizations, I love helping people grow. I really struggled with the proper way to do it when I first started managing. There were a lot of great employees I lost because I didn’t know how to communicate with them. I am learning. Every day there are moments that make me smile inside knowing I helped someone reach a goal, or I see them reaching their full potential.

Being a woman. Now don’t get me wrong, I know what it is to be a woman. I’m talking about loving who I am, what I have and what I will be. I like me. I like who I am, and I know I possess a lot of potential. But it is something I had to learn over a long period of time. I had to learn it is okay to take care of yourself, it is okay to say ‘no’ when you are at your limit, it’s okay to be vulnerable and it’s okay to be hard headed.

There’s so much to learn when you are a new soul in the world.

Wish me luck 🙂

Lots of love,

KJM

Family is the World

I don’t know what it is, but our family get togethers seem to get more and more amazing. It is hard to have a good time, when you feel bad not everyone is there. But at the same time, you have to make the most of every moment in life.

This past weekend we had our summer birthday’s celebration. We have been doing it since the beginning of time, well as far as I know, since I was born. Grandma and Grandpa always hosted the event. Everyone got together and celebrated. After they passed away the aunts and uncles took on hosting the event and now it’s down to a routine.

Highlights from this year’s celebration:

Charlotte (Amanda’s daughter) let someone other than her mom paint her nails!

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Ryan got glow in the dark paint for his initials made of wood!11942322_10100587041062966_8173616422846458261_o

Dwayne was able to be there after getting out of the hospital! Massive yay! People were excited, though this photo does not capture it.

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No one fought.

Connie realized her birthday isn’t in the summer.

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Doing mani’s and pedi’s with all the girls in the kitchen!

It was a great time had by all.

Wouldn’t trade these moments for the world!

– KJM

Wish it Was a Lie

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Now that I am back from my writing hiatus, I figured I would start this blog answering the age old question. Though my friend Codi so politely told everyone at my 30th birthday that I was a lesbian, I am not, and that is not what I’m talking about.

So many people ask me why I’m not dating, why am I single, what’s wrong with me?
The issue is dating in 2015, at 30+ years old, is hard! You are right in the middle of, ‘they just got married or just got divorced,’ they are focusing on their career, like myself or they have horrible game (boring). Also, you have to keep their attention through texting long enough to have a date, where you find out how you feel about them. Let alone if it is the real person that’s been texting you.

To have some fun with this, I thought I would share with you the top ten auto responses I have to send those who message me on dating sites:

  1. No, I am not Bi.
  2. No, I do not want a three-some.
  3. Yes, I do have a problem dating you if you have a girlfriend.
  4. No, I am not a stuck up B**** for not responding to your pickup line of “Nice tits, wanna F***?”
  5. Sure, I am positive, I don’t want to see a pic of your manhood before I learn your last name.
  6. I’m looking for a relationship, not a long term friendship with benefits.
  7. I don’t want to meet you for our first date at your house. Alone, with no one else around.
  8. I don’t have kids. I have a dog. That doesn’t make me weird.
  9. When you say you are a southern gentlemen, just to clarify, that doesn’t mean hitting on women while you are married. There is noting gentlemanly about it.
  10. I don’t know why I’m single, because I’m so beautiful. I’m as confused as you are! Trust me, I don’t get it either.

I wish these were made up.

– KJM