Squirrel!

Studio shot of young woman working in office covered with adhesive notes

How many of you have been driving home, get there, and not remember the drive? How many have sat in a meeting, even responded to questions and left not having any idea what is going on?

I recently read a book called, “On Managing Yourself” (Christensen, Clayton. 1992). The book discusses how to manage yourself in your life and how to not let your work control you. One chapter I found particularly interesting was about Attention Deficit Trait (ADT).

ADT is similar to Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) in that it affects ones behavior and outcomes. The only difference is ADT is caused by life circumstances not the chemical makeups of the brain. Examples include being on a conference call, while tapping a pen or writing an email as your knees are bouncing up and down. Multi-tasking without knowing how much you are taking on at once can ruin your attention to detail or full depth of processing or thinking.
Having ADT in the workforce doesn’t allow you to have deep thoughts about situations or problems at work, you are merely trying to stay afloat.

I find this so interesting because I don’t think it is just at work that there is ADT. Maybe it is called something else. I like to call it, “looking the other way while life happens.” I spend so much time worrying about my next move or a goal I need to make and do and do not sit in the present.

When I plan parties I focus on making sure everyone is having a good time instead of enjoying the moments as they happen. Life is happening right underneath me and I don’t even notice it. Here I sit in a nice apartment with a great job in the cities, and to me, I don’t think it’s good enough. I am trying to figure out what my next step is. How to grow more, how to be a better leader, how to get my employees to reach their full potential and how to buy my own house. I spend time thinking about what could be while siting in moments of what is.

This has been something I have struggled with my whole life and I am sure some of you have to some extent as well. When you are a kid you want to be a teenager, when you are finally a teenager, you want to be 16, then 21, then get married, have kids, and buy a house. Then you hit 30 and want to be a kid again. You are always moving forward and wanting the next big thing.

Is it wrong to feel that way? Is it bad to always be shooting for something more? I suppose not, as long as you are grateful for what you have and stay humbled. For me, it bugs me. I want to live in the now. I want to be able to enjoy two hours at home in the quiet, de-briefing from the day.

It’s time to take some skills I practice at work and apply them to my own life at home. I need to get rid of ADT and live in the moment and enjoy life. It starts one step at a time. Tonight, I am going to hold my dog, watch Castle (awesome show by the way) and just be in the moment.

Enjoy your moments,

KJM

Car Dance Party? Yes Please!

Don’t act like you are normal. You know you aren’t. Well…if you are, stop judging those who are. Because weird people know how to have a great time!

I have been driving 45 minutes each way for work in 5 mph traffic. It has given me a lot of time to think which can be a good thing. However, for this blog it may have been a bad thing. Here’s a completion of some “Singing in your car moments,” I thought I would share.

Click below to watch!

Yes, this does look like a blast. If you too wish you could have this much fun, follow these few steps and you will be well on your way.

1. Pick your favorite jam.
2. Crank it up.
3. Let your voice sing in whatever range it picks.
4. Feel free to add moves, but remember, you are driving and not at a dance party.
5. Let yourself have fun.
Learn to live,
KJM

Third Annual Cousin Weekend

  

First off, thank you to everyone who has come here today. I am excited to be able to get all the cousins together and continue to welcome the new ones that join us.

My mom had said in an email the other day, that this is the year of the cousins. I believe that whole heartedly! So to celebrate, first I want to recognize the success of the amazing people here today:

Congratulations –

To Lizzy on making straight A’s and making the 9th grade volleyball team.

To Becky for passing her drivers test.

To Emily for having an amazing dance recital and making it into honors class for art and English.

To Trisha on the birth of the beautiful little Aurora.

To Aurora on sleeping and eating.

To Abby on a beautiful little boy and building your dream home.

To Amanda for being accepted to the teachers program.

To Charlotte for not sassing mommy today.

To Jessie for getting engaged to an amazing guy.

To Bria, for putting up with Jessie and daddy.

To Michelle for being promoted at Hardee’s.

And to the mother’s who created them all, nice work! Also, shout out to aunty JoJo on completing her principals certificate!

Now, please repeat after me:

I, Insert your name, will hold the honor of cousin near and dear to my heart. I may yell, get mad, knock something out of their hands or laugh until I pee my pants, but I will never stop loving my cousin.

I may get annoyed, frustrated they get the attention, or wish they were ugly, but at the end of the day, I will always love my cousin.

My mission in life, from this day forward, is to inspire and celebrate my cousins. To be the strength and guiding force into the future.

This I will do, tiara or not, until the end of time.

My cousin, has the best cousin ever.

   
 

Nice Work Grandma!

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This is the last post I am going to do regarding ‘The Week of Mother’s’ as I want to spend time with family and enjoy the actual moments I can later write about.

Today, I want to pay tribute to the mother’s who made our mothers. Our grandmother’s. The most amazing people we will ever know. They created the worlds greatest human beings. Because of them, they have left a legacy for several generations to follow.

My grandmother taught me strength, courage and fighting for what you want. She taught me to see the beauty in any little thing and laugh with all of you have. She also taught me when to tell a good joke and when not to, that it’s okay to let your uncles have a little fun teasing you and the beauty that can be found in one small piece of wood. I wouldn’t have traded her for the world.

As the sun peeks over the hills

The hearts rise from the valley

Love drifts through the wind

Lifting the robin to higher heights

Memories grow fonder

As visions grow weaker

Small gestures awaken the soul

To find hidden miracles aloft

Tenured hands reach to touch

Stroking wishes Heaven bound

Lasting moments with fleeting thoughts

One more moment of you

Dedicated to Mother’s, past, present and future.

– KJM

The Struggle is Real

Happy continued week of The Mother’s! I wanted to share the message today in videos. Not ones I made, so they are actually funny.

When your kid acts like this:

And try so hard, but end up like this:


You need to learn to let it go!

Or get some coffee!

Happy Mother’s Day to all those mothers out there!

Lots of love,
KJM

And for fun:

Happiness Exsists

key2success

Being happy in life is a positive, being happy at work is a bonus. I used to think this was true. It wasn’t until I started working at my recent job did I realize how much I can control my happiness level. I am not an expert by any means, however, I have had jobs where I hit snooze 10 times. Those jobs weren’t fun, Monday’s weren’t fun.

I want to talk to you a minute about how to turn your situation around if below describes you:

  • Hit snooze three times or more
  • Dread Monday’s
  • Annoyed by co-workers presence
  • Can’t wait for your morning break, lunch break and even better, going home
  • Spend more time searching Facebook then completing work

Trust me, we have all be there. We have all had those moments where Monday’s get the best of you. Where you drive home and think to yourself, “You win Monday. You win!” I want to let you know don’t have to be stuck. You don’t have to live that kind of life. You are allowed to have fun at work and smile on a Monday. I will say it again, you are allowed to love your job!

Since I have found myself in this very situation, more than once, here are some things I did to turn it around.

  1. Analyze what it is that upsets you. Is it the people? The work? The schedule? The location?
  2. Once you determined what is upsetting you about work, remove that trigger from your emotions.
    1. If distance to work drives you nuts, change it. Carpool, have a dance party in your car, find a good talk show, listen to a motivational book, call relatives and catch up. Find something to occupy the time so you feel the drive is worth it.
  3. Once you remove the trigger, remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
    1. If Bob always says a horrible joke and it sets you off every single day, today, laugh at his joke and appreciate the fact that he wants to talk to you and share these moments with you. If you dig deep enough, Bob probably wants to connect with you and that is the only way he knows how.
  4. If this doesn’t work, if you make an effort to change, and things are still the same, change jobs. Sometimes it isn’t always the right fit.
  5. If your new job still upsets you and makes you mad, it’s you. You need an attitude adjustment. You are the only person that can fix it. It takes 11 positive people to tackle 1 toxic negative employee. Don’t be that 1 employee.

These tips have worked for me and continue to work for me. Best of luck in your journey moving forward. Remember, it’s IS okay to love life, love work and be happy at both.

Nothing Like the Love of an Aunt

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To continue ‘The Week of Mothers’, I am going to share all the times I lied to my mother. Totally kidding. We don’t have time for that.

I want to give a special shout out to all the women in my life who helped raised me, that didn’t get the title of mom from me. It is those ‘weekend here and there’ ladies, the moms who guided me through high school, and those who took me in for a week every summer.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” That statement couldn’t be more accurate. The outside influences help shaped me and molded me into the woman I am. Whether they let me clean out their entire pantry to play grocery store, or let me decorate their classroom for their upcoming year, those moments stuck with me.

Here are some of my favorite memories:

  • Playing with Dryfus in the backyard of my aunt’s big house in the city. It was scary. I learned many lessons about safety, security and how to never let someone in!
  • Going to a drive-in movie and convincing my aunt to do a double-movie showing. She had to work the next day, so it was a nice two hour nap for her.
  • Living with my little cousin for a summer. She managed to copy everything I did with her friends. She even put mouse in her hair! Except it wasn’t mouse, it was Nair. And she almost went bald.
  • Organizing my aunt’s classroom for the upcoming year. I also got to take home some old books and felt supper cool.
  • Saying the Lord’s Prayer with my aunt as she tucked us into bed.
  • Slumber parties.

Come to think of it, my mom had me visiting other people a lot…Wonder why…hmm.

Anyways, hanging out with these ladies I am privileged to call my aunts, gave me some great life lessons.

  • Not everything will always go your way. You will have to fight tooth and nail for what you truly want.
  • It’s okay to laugh the loudest in a movie theater.
  • It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, just the quality.
  • Hold the leash tight, the dogs are strong and will walk you. You should be walking them.
  • You don’t have to follow the rules. If you believe in something, stand up for it.
  • Patience is a virtue.
  • Plan accordingly. You don’t need to buy a month of groceries for one week at your aunts.
  • Sometimes life gets boring when you are left home alone. Always do something with your time. Playing grocery store with an entire pantry is a very good way. Just put it back before people get home.
  • When people follow you around and ask you a million questions, take it as flattery.
  • Wine, rum or tequila can help any situation.
  • When someone says get off the horse, get off the horse.

You may not understand all of these, but I am sure you have a million memories with your own family. This Mother’s Day, don’t forget to call those other moms who kept you in line for a week so your real mom could get a break.

Love always,

KJM

Week of Mothers!

Since technology is so huge right now (definitely a fading fad) I decided to make this a video blog. I am going to include words also, just to ensure my mom receives the message presented if she can’t get the videos to work. Just kidding mom! (But seriously.)

Basically, it took me a lot of clips to make the video:

Then I thought I would try pure honesty:

Then finally, I decided to share how I feel about my mother and memories that stood out to me:

And to make you smile again, here’s a gem from 5 years ago (first learning voice over technology):

Lots of love,

KJM

Put on your Big Girl Panties!

10999351_10100468351163476_1434247853972522397_nWe spend our whole life saying, “I will never be like my mother!” Then you look in the mirror and BAM! You ARE your mother.

I know, I know, being your mother isn’t a bad thing. However, it is a shocking moment when you have spent your whole life trying to be someone else. No matter how hard you try to change or be someone else, you will always have tendencies like your mother.

With Mother’s Day coming up, I found it was fitting to have ‘The Week of Mother’s” blog tribute. All mom, all the time, all week long. Ya, ya, ya, I know all the moms out there are thinking, ‘we get a week! What is that crap!’

Anyways, back to ‘The Week of Mother’s’ and finding yourself looking in the mirror and seeing your mother. I would have to say I was in my early twenties when I first realized this. It is now in my late twenties, early thirties that I realize how much it is embedded in everything I do.

Here are the top reasons why being like your mother is the greatest blessing in the world, and the thing you fight for the most part of your life:

  1. I, like my mother, want to help everyone. Everyone deserves a chance, a smile, a warm meal or a hug.
  2. I like buying little knickknacks for everything. Having a party? Oh you need new cups, bowls, table runners, straws and even silverware for this amazing event. (Mom, Exhibit A, Snow-set dinner plates).
  3. I have a big heart and feel others pain. I want everyone to go to bed at night knowing the world will be better, their world will get better, and if I could fix it I would.
  4. I hoard. I find that random pieces of crap hold serious memories for me. If I throw it away, I am obviously throwing away a memory. Hence the five boxes of childhood that I will never open again, but demand on keeping.
  5. I want everyone to be happy. When I have a party, the list keeps growing and growing because everyone deserves to know they are loved and are welcome at my home. Sometimes makes for interesting company mixing.

These are some amazing tributes of my mom that I have definitely inherited. Overtime I have been able to fine tune them into my own traits that I will hopefully pass on one day to my children.

What I wish I inherited from my mother:

  1. Ability to bake. She can make anything, at any time, for any one! I wish I had a “Grandma” cabinet where I could just bake all day long.
  2. Ability to remember people. My mom has this uncanny ability to remember everyone and their story and be emotionally attached to them. She remembers their favorite food, or names of their children. I have trouble remembering why I walked into the bathroom sometimes.
  3. Open mind. My mom will love you regardless of who you are and your situation. I have this internal checklist that I must run through to ensure you meet the criteria. It’s embarrassing that I have to rationalize it and can’t just reach out and help.
  4. Though my mom will say she is constantly tired, not getting sleep or exhausted, it’s only after she has gotten my nephew on the bus for school, worked a full day, made supper, created some baked item for a funeral or for work the next day, checked in with all her children and found time to watch TV with her husband. Some Saturday’s I don’t even move out of my chair.
  5. Big heart. I have said this a million times already, but she just truly has the biggest heart. I can think of so many times in my childhood where she had the greatest intentions and I spoiled them or didn’t appreciate them. To only have that foresight now in my own life.

Of course families don’t always have sunshine and roses, but when you have a loving woman like this in your life it is easy to find the positives. I am proud to say she is my friend, mentor and mother.

Now when I look in the mirror and see my mother, I smile, give a slight nod and say, “Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!”

Love always,

KJM

I Came in too Hot!

The best thing in this world is laughter. Making someone laugh can completely change their day. It can de-escalate a situation and it can help people feel at ease.

My favorite commercial of time is, “I came in too hot!”

That is all I have to say.

#writersblock

#justareallyfunnycommercial

What is your favorite commercial of all times?