Sometimes the greatest driver in life can also be the source of one’s weakness.
Flashback. Twelfth grade. Submitting information to get into college. South Dakota State University (SDSU) in fact. I was sitting in Ms. G’s class thinking about how I hadn’t heard from the college yet. I walked down to the counselor’s office, without asking permission, and asked the counselor why I wouldn’t have heard by now. All my friends had. He said he would make a phone call and let me know.
He hung up the phone and said, waitlisted. I was waitlisted. I didn’t even know what that meant. How can I be something I don’t even know? All I knew was you get into college or you don’t. I asked what I needed to do and he said you need a C in your very last class in order to get in, then said, “You must have wrote one hell of an essay to stay in the running.”
I ran down the hall, Ms. G had only one more assignment to grade for me, that grade would determine my future. My entire future rested on her shoulders. (When you are a teenager, nothing is in your control. It’s everyone else.) As I stood next her desk constantly begging her to just grade my homework and let me know if I got a C. She said, “A ‘C?’ That is all you want? You don’t want to do better than that?”
I said, “No, a C is good enough.”
What she said next changed my life forever.
“Don’t strive for good enough. Strive for the best.”
I have held that saying and that conversation with me since my senior year of high school. I doubt Ms. G knows she made such an impact, she probably just wanted me to leave her desk so she could do her work.
Turns out, I got a B on the assignment and got into SDSU. Go Jacks!
Because of Ms. G., I don’t live life as ‘good enough’ any more. I have very high standards for myself and sometime it is to a fault. I am never satisfied. A saying I read today said, “Be happy with what you have, as your something, is more than their something.” It made me think, I should be thankful for what I have, and the other side of me thinks, if I do that, I will never want more, never grow and continue to see where this crazy life takes me. Maybe it’s the Gemini in me, I don’t know.
I apologize that so much of this is unknown and I can’t see the true definition, but I guess that is the whole point of this blog. I want to compile all my thoughts and life lessons and see where the next chapter in my life takes me. I want more, I want better than what I have right now. I want to be able to have a life where I don’t worry about finances, I am able to take care of family, I am in love, I feel fulfilled and I enrich others’ lives. Does that exists? Is that something that can even happen? Am I chasing a dream that will never come to fruition?
The logical part of me says sit down, go to work and do your duties. The fantasy side of me says, “Go on girl. Get it!” (As much sass as you can picture).
So for right now, I am listening to the fantasy side of me until the logical side proves its point. Knowing me, I will probably still disregard the facts and keep on dreaming.
Here’s to not knowing the future, dreaming like a fool and never settling for good enough.
P.S. Take a moment to thank your teacher that changed your life. With their low salary and daunting task to make you a contributing member of society, this is the only return on investment they may get.